Pride Month is everywhere. Rainbows, celebration, visibility. It commemorates a pivotal turning point in the gay rights movement and is a highlight of the year for many, whether queer or straight. But for many straight spouses and partners of trans people, it can feel like a storm of grief, confusion, and invisibility.

Have you experienced the betrayal of discovering your spouse is secretly same-sex attracted, or identifies as gay or transgender? Or perhaps you knew your partner struggled with their sexuality and promised it wouldn’t be an issue. Until it was. And you were left nursing your abandonment wounds while he marched in the parade.

Pride Month can certainly be a challenging time. In one universe, you may have been a fierce ally, but now it’s a loaded, painful issue. A reminder of your traumatic relational rupture. For you, Pride lands differently, yet it’s almost impossible to escape it. You’re not permitted to find it difficult. But you do.

And it’s complex. Many straight spouses say you should support Pride so that fewer queer people hide in straight-passing marriages. And yet for others, the wounds are just too deep, or too raw. They want to hide under a rock until the month is over.

It’s not quite a rock to hide under, but it is a small, private community space you can hang out in during Pride. Kindred is a place to land, where you can share, listen, or simply be in the presence of others who get it. You won’t need to justify why Pride can feel difficult after betrayal trauma, or defend yourself against assumptions about your beliefs and values.

If you relate to this, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to hold it all by yourself. You may have tried white-knuckling it through Pride in other years, yet you felt alone and had nowhere much to talk about your struggles.

This year, let’s do it differently. Let’s do it together.

A note re pricing: This is a pilot offering and priced accordingly at $29 USD (+GST for Australian purchasers). It will be a simple, lightly held space, designed to meet you where you are and support you through the month. We will be co-creating this space, building on what I’ve put in place, and I’ll be gathering feedback along the way and at the end of the month. I look forward to having you join us!

• A private space off social media (intentionally)
• Gentle discussion threads on relevant topics
• An optional drop-in voice space for real conversations!
• Gentle encouragements and coping strategies
• A closing Zoom call at the end of the month
• Possibly other add-ons as we go (this is a co-created pilot program, and you get to help build it and give me feedback along the way).

You can be a quiet member. You don’t have to “keep up”. You can simply hang out in the space however feels right for you. And you’re welcome to jump in at any point during June. There’s no pressure to catch up. It will be a supportive and encouraging place, one day at a time.

This is a soft place to land. A “hide-away” of sorts. A reprieve.

In previous years, I’ve offered more structured support during Pride. This space is deliberately different. There’s no schedule to keep up with, and no lengthy, explanatory emails to read. Kindred is designed to be simpler, quieter, and more relational (to the degree you want to interact).This isn’t a program to keep up with. You don’t even have to post. You don’t have to explain yourself. You can just be there, in our kindred spirit hideaway.

Some feedback from the previous version (Pride Survival Guide):

“Once again, your words really hit home.”
“Thank you for seeing me…”
“You made space for something no one talks about.”
“Thanks for recognising how incredibly triggering and painful this month can be.”

I look forward to experiencing a more connected space with you.

Kindred is not an LGBTQIA+ hate space. There won’t be any vilification or shaming of people’s sexuality or gender. Instead, we’ll be focusing on you! What you’re finding difficult, what helps, and how you can move forward with more peace. And joy! I anticipate some fun and laughter in our safe cocoon with other kindred spirits.

💛 You’re Not Alone. You’re Not Invisible. You’re Not Too Much.

You’re allowed to grieve.
You’re allowed to be angry.
You’re allowed to heal.
You’re allowed to be happy!

I hope you will join us,
Karen